Tale of Online search…
1. Post my profile in TeluguMatrimony.com [With a very short-and-sweet description, no photos uploaded, no horoscopes uploaded]
2. Explain the Online matrimonial facility to my parents and the benefits associated with it. Impressed with such a facility available in net, they pursue me to add more details. I even ended up paying Rs.1750/= to acquire the paid-benefits of the matrimonial site [Like sending personalized message, password-protecting the photograph etc.,]. Can’t believe it!
3. Go through the profiles matching my preferences. The most important filtering being “Search profiles who has put up photographs”!! Later, I realized that most of the people who put up photographs have published a well-crafted, studio-quality photographs. The bright-white teeth, the angel-like glow behind the hair and extremely fair face (a closer analysis will reveal the huge contrast between the hand color and the face color!) makes you wonder “How come everyone is so beautiful”??
4. Wait for someone to contact me. You know, the typical Why-should-I-make-the-first-move thought. Fed up with the dismal response rate, I begin to analyze the reasons…
5. Decide to search for profiles without photographs. I learn to patiently read the description written by the parents/friends/siblings. It turns out that genuinely interested people do not publish the photographs (or atleast password-protect the photographs).
6. Decide to make the first move. Express the interest to the newly found profiles and wait for response.
7. Decide to publish my photograph and put up my salary figure. Within 24 hours, the response rate improves dramatically. Agency problems??
8. All the while, I forgot about the Horoscope compatibility. I cannot seek the service of a Purohit each time to match the horoscopes nor can I learn the astrology overnight. Think…Think…Finally, I find an online Horoscope matching service which does a good job of matching.
9. Match the horoscopes of profiles to decide whether to proceed further or not. The service gives a score on a 36 scale. Minimum of 18 points is needed for horoscope to be compatible. If the points is 30+, then the match is excellent! But the score is not just enough..There are more checks like Manglik dosha, Nadi dosha, Masala dosha, Paper dosha etc.,!!! If there is any one dosha, then even if you have a score of 36 out of 36, the horoscopes are certified as incompatible! [A small fact, 46%-53% of people in the world are Mangliks]. Manglik dosha is the result of Mars positioning himself/herself in some specific squares in horoscope. Now is this what is meant when someone say “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”…Juz Kidding
10. It turns out that 5 out of 8 profiles that were up for matching are incompatible.
11. I get more responses [both response to my responses and fresh proposals]. The horoscope funneling eliminates the responses!
12. A close friend suggests to remove the salary figure and put the photograph (password-protected). Also, a few modifications in the description. I follow the same.
13. Two prospects have been contacting me since then. Also, they received a score of 33 out of 36 in horoscope compatibility test! One prospect asked me to meet the brother of the girl in hyderabad! Scared by the thought of being interviewed mercilessly by a stranger and by the speed at which events were taking place, I decided not to respond. I will let my parents do the initial talking.
14. One profile caught my attention, but for one thing. The HEIGHT! She was 170 cms. I remember my height as 169 cms. I wanted to confirm my height badly…I even bugged my flat mates to help me in measuring my height!! At that moment, I was complaining to god for being vertically challenged
Anyway, I don’t want to end up as the shorter one after the marriage! So, with heavy heart had to let go that profile…and updated my preferences to reflect the height…
15. After few cycles, the preferences have evolved and many confusions are cleared. I have even come up with a bank of questions to ask whenever I get a chance to meet a prospect! There is also a document of “things that I would like to do for my life-partner” so that I can impress her in the future…you see, the problem of seeing too many Tam/Hindi love movies
16. Now comes the anti-climax. It turns out that my preferences have narrowed my choices way too much. Caste, Place, Education, Career, Height, Looks…etc.,
17. Totally confused and frustrated by the futility of the online search with such a preference, I finally decide to not log into matrimony site anymore. Atleast not for the next 1 month. As I was not lucky enough to find a life-partner on my own so far, I will leave the job to my parents…provided my preferences are satisfied. It’s going to be a long-drawn process…that’s for sure and it better take time, as it is a question of life…!
Only take-away: I got to meet/interact with 2-3 new people. It was great to know about their interests and ambitions in life.
For a brief period, there was a great interest to get married and settle in life fast..Now, the interest has died down (is gradually dying down..)…With the excitement and fun away, it’s time to kick-some-mighty-a** in work
The momentum is finally picking up at work front…
PS: There was a big dilemma whether to publish this or not…Question of excitement vs consequence…finally, excitement prevailed…hope I am not wrong….


Hi,
Been a regular visitir to your blog for the last 1.5+ yrs.
Man…you are brave to put this post. Appreciate it.
Wish u get a wonderful life partner.
Comment by ashok — June 23, 2006, Friday @ 7:13 pm
All the Best.
Have you reached the point of no return in this search.
Have fun.
Comment by Ramki — June 23, 2006, Friday @ 10:43 pm
Awwe,giving up so easily?
Comment by EU — June 23, 2006, Friday @ 11:59 pm
Ha ha ! Liked this post Bharani. Typical dillema of a guy who wants a partner of his choice and yet wants to follow the traditional values. I thought that there were quite a few girls who had fallen in love with you after reading your blog?
What say?
Comment by Indianblogger — June 24, 2006, Saturday @ 3:05 am
brave posting , just loved it
Comment by adi — June 24, 2006, Saturday @ 2:35 pm
Now we know why ur snap disappeared from ur blog …… password protection eh ….
Comment by Ram — June 24, 2006, Saturday @ 3:33 pm
Hi Bharani, Been an avid reader of your blog for close to a year now. It was really surprising to read this one though. I must admit, it does take a lot of conviction and courage to pour out such thoughts. Bravo! By the way, noticed that your snap vanished from this site .. guess I know why!
)
Coincidentally, I have just begun my MBA journey, and so all the Case studies and night outs suddenly seem so much more realistic and feasible ( I always believed that there’s something of an exageratoin with those sleepless night claims… and I could go to bed yesterday only by 4 A.M…..
Take Care and Do great.
Chirantan
Comment by Chirantan Mandal — June 24, 2006, Saturday @ 6:00 pm
Interesting that you posted your profile in Telugu Matrimony.
Thought you were a Tamil…
Comment by Viswanath — June 25, 2006, Sunday @ 12:02 am
Try to think about this bride search after few beers.. Remember drinking beer in Munich Beer Hall in Germany ….You could go to the stage and dance ??
ok njoy da…
Comment by Jeeva — June 25, 2006, Sunday @ 4:35 pm
Its better to get ur biodata in the paper and also the telugu sangam in chennai…where all the telugus register…that will ensure a better and effective response. not sure about online matrimony so cant comment much on that ….all the best finding ur match
)
Comment by Sathyaraj — June 26, 2006, Monday @ 6:32 pm
I have been reading your blog for quite some time now, the honesty and the courage with which you put down your thoughts is commendable!! This one was funny !! Hope you find your perfect partner!!
Comment by Sumana — June 27, 2006, Tuesday @ 11:57 am
This is the first time i have seen a man list out the entier list of to do.. i thot it was left to the woman to bear the brunt of arrange marraige
Comment by SS — June 27, 2006, Tuesday @ 10:05 pm
@Ashok..Thanks for being such a loyal reader…I survive on this feeling..
@Ramki..no point of return..it has just begun..
@EU..not giving up…just giving some gap…
@Indianblogger…LOL…
@Adi..Thanks
@Ram…You are smart…:)
@Chiranthan…so you also know why the snap vanished…hmm..enjoy those sleepless nights..you will miss them soon…good luck with your course..where are you doing your MBA now?
@Viswanath..I am from Chennai..so I am as much Tamil as much I am telugu..In fact, am more comfortable speaking Tamil…
@Jeeva…:) Munich…man, that was something…God I danced…that too with 2 drunken germal fellas…on the stage!!!
@Sathyaraj…Thanks for the tips…looks like you have become an expert in this field..so howz course coming up in SP-Jain Dubai?
@Sumana: Thanks a lot…really appreciate it..
@SS: Thanks for dropping by..you have a very very hilarious blog…I was surprised to see an entire blog dedicated for capturing episodes of arranged marriage…keep blogging…Wish you good luck in finding your life partner…
Comment by Administrator — June 27, 2006, Tuesday @ 11:39 pm
Boss, I have come out of dubai, working for reliance retail in mumbai…i guess i had informed you about that…
Comment by Sathyaraj — June 28, 2006, Wednesday @ 10:31 am
Hi Bharani, I am pursuing my MBA from IIM-Kozhikode. And I really hate staying up late .. But what to do
Comment by Chirantan Mandal — June 29, 2006, Thursday @ 8:06 am